ORLANDO – Amid the hoopla about straw polls and former president Donald Trump’s speech full of lies, the latest Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) had a session titled ‘Police Humein Maare Gi To Inqilab Kaise Aye Ga’.
Panelists included the Q Shaman, Richard Barnett (the guy in Pelosi’s chair), Zaid Hamid and Zohair Toru. A pizza magnate was also among those slated to remotely take part, but sources confirm he disconnected the call after finding out the conference was called CPAC and not CPEC. CPAC’s theme this year was un-cancelling racism and xenophobia.
Speaking via Skype, Zohair Toru empathised with the concerns of the protestors and recounted his past skirmishes with the capital police in Islamabad. Zaid Hamid, taking part from an undisclosed location, chimed in to offer support for Q and the arrival of Dajjal. The session ended in acrimony when Zaid Hamid and the Q Shaman labelled each other as snowflakes and cancelled one another.
“The only reason I addressed this conference was to warn these Ab Ki Baar Trump Sarkaar types to stay away from Modi Sarkaar, because Ghazwa-e-Hind won’t spare any allies,” Zaid Hamid later told The Dependent.
To fill the void created by a disrupted session, CPAC organisers hastily roped in Ted Cruz to do some of his terrible jokes about Cancun.