Old video resurfaces: Fiery imam breaks record for fastest tableegh, delivers sermon at 160 fatwas/hour

KOHAT: In an old video that recently resurfaced on social media, a flamboyant imam is seen taking the field of tableegh by storm by delivering the fastest recorded sermon.

While the latest technology wasn’t available at the arena, but the mechanism in place gauged the speed to have crossed the 160 fatwas per hour barrier.

“He was definitely faster than 160. I have never seen deliveries quicker than that for the past fifty years,” said a senior member of the audience that viewed the spectacle live.

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“He is definitely the fastest of his generation, no question about that. However, I think he may just be the fastest of all time,” said another older fan of the imam.

Those in the audience were in awe of the raw pace they were witnessing, with the aggression, flare, and charisma, unlike anything that viewers had seen.

“Oh it was quick, it was furious, it rattled the opponents, and it gave the viewers something they’d never seen in their lifetime,” noted another follower.

Other observers also admired the pace of the deliveries, but conceded that the energy consumed in the deliveries might impact the longevity.

“It was a short spell, which I feel suits him best. But I’m personally worried about the number of deliveries that he’ll be able to conjure up in his career,” maintained another fan.

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The Dependent
The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.


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