‘One day you’ll come begging me for money at my Islamic Monetary Fund,’ Dar warns IMF

ISLAMABAD: As Pakistan and the International Monetary Fund (IMF) on Thursday failed to reach a staff-level agreement within the stipulated time to revive the stalled $6.5 billion bailout package, sources maintain that Finance Minister Ishaq Dar told IMF officials to start preparing for the day when they would be coming to him begging for money.

Sources privy to Dar’s meeting with the IMF mission led by Nathan Porter confirm that the finance minister warned the delegation that their monetary control is temporary.

“And so is this world. This is all temporary. You think you’re powerful here? This world is pointless – it is only the afterlife that matters. Have you begun preparing for that?” Dar asked Porter, sources have informed The Dependent.

“But I can assure you that I will not make you wait for the afterlife, when you are burning in hell, to execute vengeance. You will come begging me for money long before the Day of Judgement,” the finance minister added.

Sources further confirm that here Dar informed the IMF delegation of his plans to rally the Muslim ummah and create an Islamic Monetary Fund where he would personally be managing the finances in a sharia-compliant manner.

“Now that would be the real IMF, running the global economy based on Islamic principles. You lot and your economic policies are soon going to be defeated by our fiscal jihad,” Dar warned IMF.

“Who will bail you out, here and in the afterlife?” the finance minister further asked.

Those privy to the meeting assert the IMF delegation expressed dissatisfaction over the proceedings of the meeting, asking the Pakistan government to reconsider priorities before a Memorandum for Economic and Financial Policies could be forwarded.

The Dependent
The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.

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