Pakistan has become leader in abducted manpower, says Ministry of Missing Pakistanis

UNDISCLOSED LOCATION– Beating other regional players in enforced disappearances, Pakistan has emerged as the ‘Manpower Abduction Leader’ in the region by sending tens of thousands into an undisclosed location also known as thin air.

While the exact figures of this missing manpower are nationalistically unknown and patriotically disputed, Pakistan comfortably leads in the field of enforced disappearances, the Ministry of Missing Pakistanis and HR Development said in a tweet.

“Pakistan becomes a ‘Manpower Abduction Leader’ in the region despite the pandemic. Leaving behind other South Asian countries in the disappearance of manpower in 2020. @beoehq @MoIB_Official @sayedzbukhari @PTVNewsOfficial @appcsocialmedia @OfficialDGISPR” tweeted the ministry.

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Sources within the Ministry of Missing Persons claimed that Pakistan’s macroeconomic numbers are rising, especially remittances, with abducted manpower indirectly contributing to it.

“Of course, when breadwinners in a family are lifted and dumped, and aren’t seen for years, the overseas relatives take it upon themselves to support the extended family by sending more money,” said a ministry official while talking to The Dependent.

The Ministry of Missing Persons and HR Development further said that enforced disappearances also dig up Pakistan’s missing potential when Pakistanis disappear temporarily and not infinitely.

“Even part-time missing persons, ie those who resurface after a few days, or hours — like some journalists, bloggers, activists etc — also contribute to the enforced economy,” a senior ministry official said.

“Their kidnappings, or even beating up, help create an environment conducive to the continuation of manpower abduction. In addition to full-time abductees, if we start counting these part-timers, Pakistan isn’t just a regional leader in manpower abduction, but a world leader.”


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The Dependent
The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.
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