Following the chaos that was witnessed in the National Assembly yesterday, Speaker Asad Qaiser, expecting more of the same, politely requested that members on both sides, “Sab please insaan kei bachay bainen bh** ch**!”.
During his opening remarks, he expressed his gratitude to the treasury benches side for trying to quell the violence yesterday by throwing more books and budget documents than punches and eventually deciding even that was too extreme and resorting to ‘using their words’.
Addressing the house as a whole in the latter part of his opening remarks, Speaker Qaiser, while stating that there was no excuse for such hooliganism in parliament expressed how, “yeh left par beithay chor chu***** saara mahaul kharaab kartay hain”.
Later in the day Mr Qaiser, who had to go to the grounds of Parliament to officiate a ‘knives-only below the head above the groin’ fight to the death between Murad Saeed and Ahsan Iqbal, handed over proceedings to the deputy speaker Qasim Suri, who upon taking his seat exhaled heavily and asked everyone, “haan bai da****, TYARRI HAI??”.