Lynch mob kills coronavirus for defying pious Council of Islamic Ideology slogan

ISLAMABAD/LAHORE/KARACHI/PESHAWAR/QUETTA – The coronavirus, a group of related RNA viruses that cause diseases in mammals and birds, the covid-19 variety of which is currently causing a pandemic, on Friday was lynched by an Islamist mob for alleged blasphemy.

The coronavirus was accused of blasphemy for defying the new anti-covid slogan “Corona waba hai, ehtiyaat jis ki shifaa hai” approved by the Council of Islamic Ideology (CII) and announced by the Ministry of Religious Affairs and Interfaith Harmony on Wednesday.

Friday’s lynching, carried out by mobs across the country, and the ensuing killing of coronavirus within 48 hours of the alleged blasphemy, has made Pakistan the first country to successfully, and permanently, eliminate covid-19.

- Advertisement -

Mobsters speaking to The Dependent confirmed that the coronavirus had outraged their religious feelings.

“We were informed by the imams ahead of the prayers that our feelings have been offended by coronavirus. Even though I did not actually believe in the existence of coronavirus, but after being informed that my religious sentiments have been outraged, I was enraged, went out and played my part in killing the source of offence,” revealed an angry member of the lynch mob.

A moderate mobster told The Dependent that on principle he did not agree with the lynching as the first modus operandi, but said the government of Pakistan has ‘left no other choice’.

“They don’t judicially execute blasphemers as per the Pakistan Penal Code. Therefore, unfortunately we have to take matters into our hands — which are more attuned to blood than sanitizers,” said the man.

Mobs across the nation have further urged the CII to implement similar slogans for everything the nation is antagonistic to.

The council has also urged to help spread the word, feeling, and ideology by resorting to a previously considered anti-covid slogan, “Corona ki aik hi saza, sarr tann se juda”.

- Advertisement -
The Dependent
The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.
- Advertisment -

Must Read