The government of Khyber Pakhtunkhwa has finalised a plan to plant one billion kicks on the posteriors of public sector university teachers protesting over delays in salaries and proposed salary cuts.
“Yes, we have finalised plans and have given the KP Police, in particular the Peshawar Range police, to execute the directives in a timely manner,” said KP finance and health minister Taimur Saleem Jhagra.
“Because of the criticism of the Billion Tree Tsunami, we have learnt some lessons,” he continued. “To minimise corruption, we will ensure that each of the policemen record on video each individual kick. And we will also ensure that these kicks are indigenous do not upset the ecosystem.”
He also announced the PTI governments in other provinces and at the federal level have also expressed an interest in replicating the program.