‘Hand them over and no one gets hurt’: On 35th Foundation Day, MQM-P reiterates demand for your cellphone, wallet

KARACHI: On its 35th Foundation Day, the Muttahida Qaumi Movement-Pakistan (MQM-P) has once again reiterated its demand for your cellular phone and wallet. The recent demand has also completely jettisoned the earlier demand for a separate province for Karachi, Hyderabad, parts of Sukkur, and two sub-sectors of Islamabad.

“Hand them over, and no one gets hurt,” said Convenor Khalid Maqbool Siddiqui, while speaking directly to you. “Yes, you, roll down your car window and hand over both your cellphone and your wallet, come on.”

“No, that is clearly not your phone,” Siddiqui said when you attempted to hand over a Q-Mobile ‘decoy’ phone. “I want the actual one, yes, that Samsung. And now your wallet, shabash. Hand it over.”

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“If you take too long, us nafees loag won’t be as nafees anymore,” said Deputy Convenor Kunwar Naveed Jamil. “You think we don’t know where you live? Is that is? I know you live in Federal B Area, I know where your kids go to school, so no funny business here, okay?”

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The Dependent
The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.
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