‘MTJ logo can make miniskirts halaal,’ confirms Maulana

KARACHI: Tariq Jameel, called MTJ by his business customers and Maulana Tariq Jameel by his religious customers, has confirmed that the newly launched MTJ clothing brand is completely devoid of anything haraam and fahaash and hence Covid-19 proof.

Talking to The Dependent after the inauguration of the MTJ brand, Maulana said that his collection of clothes fights coronavirus.

“First of all, let me guarantee you that no one who attended the inauguration ceremony, or visits the MTJ store in future will ever catch corona. Like other divine matters, I have this personal understanding with the deity,” Maulana told The Dependent.

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“Secondly, the clothes that MTJ will have, especially the womenswear, actually work as hazmat suits as well since they will curb corona by limiting fahaashi in the muaashra,” he added.

Maulana confirmed that while some of the clothes sold for women would feature the same dresses and cuts that have previously been declared fahaash when made by other brands, the MTJ logo by default reduces the level of fahaashi of any dress.

“When you purchase the MTJ brand you are also purchasing the divinely certified haya and modesty that we’ve been preaching you. After that, you can cover as much, or as less, you’ll be baa-purdah. The MTJ logo can even make a miniskirt halaal,” confirmed Maulana.

Maulana also revealed that ramp walks and modeling photoshoots associated with MTJ similarly do not count as qaum ki betiyan doing behayai, directly causing pandemics.

“Ladies, now you can finally wear a brand that merges meri marzi with Maulana ki marzi. You go girls! Go to MTJ stores near you!”

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The Dependent
The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.

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