Israel, AP sign accord for two-news-agency solution with New York as joint headquarters

NEW YORK: In a dramatic breakthrough, Israel and the Associated Press have signed a peace accord in which both sides have recognised their right to the 175-year-old news agency.

“In this historic agreement, both Israel and AP,” said US President Joe Biden, “have recognised that AP belongs to both of them.”

“It is clearly not a solution that is ideal for the people of Israel,” said Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. “But politics is the art of the possible, after all, and give-and-take does mean we have to cede some ground. I’m confident I can convince my people to accept this solution.”

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The air of reconciliation at the historic event, however, was interrupted by a small bit of unpleasantness, when Gary B. Pruitt, President and CEO of the AP Authority put forth another set of demands.

“Yes,” said Gary B Pruitt. “So obviously, there has to be a deadline by which the IDF have to vacate our share of the offices. And obviously, before that, they have to stop parking on the street in front of our houses as well. That is a bare minimum.”

The situation at the AP Headquarters still remained tense till the filing of this report.

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The Dependent
The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.


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