PCB announces pick-and-drop services for Karachiites during second Test against New Zealand

KARACHI – The Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) announced on Thursday free pick and drop services for Karachiites, from their homes and offices to the National Cricket Stadium, during the second Test between Pakistan and New Zealand beginning January 2.

The service, in addition to three meals a day (one per session) and the already announced free passes, would be provided to anyone who agrees to watch each session of every day of the five-day match, and is valid for all stands except for two VIP enclosures.

“We are looking for twenty thousand people from a city of twenty million people willing to avail the opportunity to an all-expenses-paid five-day adventure to watch the topmost tier of the country’s favourite sport to start the New Year,” reads the PCB advertisement published in all Karachi newspapers, television channels, and their social media pages.

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Separately, in addition to educational institutions, the PCB has also started approaching old-age homes and hospitals to seek the lucky winners.

“We are also checking if anyone’s dying wish is to watch Test cricket and would be happy to facilitate such individuals,” said a PCB official while talking to The Dependent.

The PCB has also issued a health warning announcing that the five-day spectacle can also have injurious, even fatal, effects on those not accustomed to the acts being performed, especially those amateurs vulnerable to death by tedium.

Sources have further informed The Dependent that the new hierarchy of the PCB has close proximities to a leading political party that specialises in getting people to gatherings and events they are not particularly enthusiastic to attend, and their leaders’ help might be sought in this regard.

“In such an eventuality, the eligibility for participants in the pick-and-drop offer could extend into the province of Punjab,” a PCB official confirmed.

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The Dependent
The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.


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