‘No more Good/Bad Taliban’: Security establishment unveils uniform Okayish Taliban strategy

RAWALPINDI – After a senior Pakistani delegation visited Afghanistan’s capital for talks with Taliban officials last week, amidst tensions between the two countries, the security establishment has finally decided to put an end to the decades-old Good and Bad Taliban policy, The Dependent can confirm.

Sources within the security machinery have informed The Dependent that given the latest surge in jihadist violence, the deteriorating relations with Afghanistan, and the diminishing chances of militarily liberating Kashmir in light of impending economic default, the state is now going to stop discriminating between jihadi groups.

“There will be no more Good and Bad Taliban. We are no longer going to distinguish between jihadist groups,” said a top-level officer, wishing anonymity, given their proximity to matters determining who gets to rule the country next.

- Advertisement -

“Now we are going all-out with a uniform, unflinching, uncompromising, Okayish Taliban strategy,” the officer further informed The Dependent.

Other leaders have also told this scribe about this new stratagem, which they insist would make it impossible to treat jihadist groups differently.

“Once they are all deemed okayish, everyone would know where we all stand and there won’t be any confusion,” said a senior leader, wishing anonymity, given their aspired proximity to those dealing with the determination of who gets to rule the country next.

“After Okayish Taliban, we also want to review our political model and replace the Same Page with a Sameish Page to keep things simple and straightforward.”

- Advertisement -
The Dependent
The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

- Advertisment -

Must Read

There should be no sympathy for those who broke the law,...

Noted public intellectual Ehsanullah Ehsan has come down hard on the activists of the Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaaf (PTI). “The law is the law and these miscreants...