Muggers make daring escape from Karachi rollerblade police squad by running five feet onto sandy beach

A gang of muggers in the Sea View area of Karachi made a daring escape on Thursday after they ran five feet onto the sandy beach.


“We were in hot pursuit of the muggers and were almost about to apprehend them,” said Assistant Sub-Inspector Jamal Siddiqui of the rollerblade squad at a press briefing. “But they made a daring escape by running around five feet onto the beach.”


“No, no,” he said, replying to a question by a reporter. “We do have jurisdiction on the beach but we were not able to go into that territory because of logistical reasons.”


“Yes, we could have taken off our skates but that takes too long and this gang would have run away,” he said.


“No, we didn’t shoot because during our training, we discovered that the recoil from our guns throws us off balance and all of us, including Shafiq here, falls to the ground,” he continued.


“To add insult to injury, the gang started mocking us and, after procuring paaparr from a hawker, threw some our way and tried to engage us in casual conversation about PSL and how good the Lahore Qalandars are this year,” he said.


“It was very insulting. I almost didn’t eat the paaparr.”


The Dependent
The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.

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