The campus of the University of the Punjab, Lahore has swollen out of the New and Old Campuses of the varsity to the entire spatial layout of Lahore district after the university administration issued an order for the students to maintain a distance of 100 metres from each other.
“The first directive was for male and female students to maintain the 100 metres distance from each other,” said PU Registrar Dr Khalid Khan. “And the university campus swelled to an unwieldy size because of that. But later on, when the whole homosexuality aspect was taken into account and it was decided that all students need to maintain a distance of 100 metres from each other, that is when the campus size really became unmanageable and the City District Government, Lahore and the Capital City Police Office had to be called in.”
“We are thankful to both DC, Lahore and CCPO, Lahore despite their harsh reactions to our request,” he said.
“I promised my wife I’d take her out tonight,” said AIG Fayyaz Khattak. “But now my entire day is gone because Punjab bloody University wants me to police hormonal youngsters over all of Lahore.”
“I’ve got hormones too, you know,” said Khattak, holding back emotions.
