Not behind all internet outages, claims sharks’ association

In an explosive press conference, the Arabian Sea chapter of the All Indian Ocean Sharks Association (AIOSA) said that they are being blamed unnecessarily for any and all internet outages.

“We resent constant being blamed for internet outages in Pakistan,” said Charlie, general secretary of the chapter. “That is complete nonsense and the AIOSA rejects these claims.”

“Yes, sometimes, when there isn’t food around, and we are feeling a little peckish, we might take a bite or two from your previous submarine cables. But to pin it squarely on us is extremely unfair.”

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“It is easy to blame us because we are ‘scary’ on account of us being the Apex Predator in our ecosystem. I think we all know that the real cause of internet outages in Pakistan is the Apex Predator of another ecosystem.”

The AIOSA Arabian Sea chapter then concluded the press conference by eating the attending reporters.

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The Dependent
The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.


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